He Becomes a Man
I think it’s time to ramp things up a bit. I’m not exactly sure what that means but I plan to figure it out as I go along. It should be fun. Let’s get started.
Today I sit here in my underwear doing my weekly writing. My daughter eats her breakfast and I ponder life in accordance with my belief system. All that means is that I woke up where I live and now have to deal with all the things I face on a day to day basis. None of this is too riveting if you ask me, it does however afford me the opportunity to look at some pretty interesting things.
A few days ago I received my previous farewell column from when I wrote for the University newspaper. I was surprised to see a couple of things. The first thing I noticed was that I had significantly more hair at that time, which is always startling. The second was how I am basically in a different place. At that time I was in the midst of truly facing life for the first time. My ex-wife was threatening me whenever she could and I was trying to decide what I wanted out of life.
I guess that’s a good thing to talk about. You see I believe that every person goes through a period where they decide to grow up or not. In my case I call it deciding to become a man. The funny thing is that I never did this until just recently. I was busy hiding in whatever I could find to hide in. My life existed in a constant paradox of tremendous opportunity and avoidance. In other words I was faced with many chances in life but just couldn’t bring myself doing anything about them. I gained weight, I tried to use sex and I even wanted to drink sometimes. I spent money frivolously. I did anything I could to create a barrier between myself and any measure of success.
About 4 months ago I really looked at what was going on. I had all the skills I needed. The only thing I had to do was decide to use them. I am writing a book that has stayed in relatively the same state for 2 years. I’ve done nothing really to improve my quality of life, that is until 4 months ago. That’s when I decided that I needed to either shit or get off the pot. In my case it means that I had finally decided to become the person that I’ve always wanted to be. I decided to become a man.
Now I realize that a lot of people think that you acquire this certain station in life by simply growing up or by experiencing life as it may and go with the flow and see what happens. I am not one of these people. You see I think becoming a man is a decision. It’s a very important decision. It’s where a guy looks at his life and decides if he wants to end up a schlep or wants to do something that’s meaningful to him. This does not mean that a guy has to become a doctor, engineer, super-pimp or go to the moon. All I’m getting at is that a guy has to decide to do something. Even if you decide to do nothing, that’s still a decision. I mean look at the Buddha… that guy created a whole way of life out of just sitting in one spot until he was “awake”. He gave himself meaning in life by doing essentially nothing. My point is that I think it’s important to “declare” something and then go after it.
What this has meant to me is that I started to exercise, changed my diet, lost 40 lbs since March, gained a new perspective and became motivated to do something. It’s a strange place for me. My wife marvels that I have just made these discoveries because she made them like 10 years ago but I always tell her it’s better late than never. What the future can hold only the future knows. All I know is that now I look forward to it instead of facing it with jaded dread-filled eyes.
Well this ends my third renewed column. I hope you enjoyed it. If you have any comments feel free to leave them and I’ll take them into account in future columns. Thanks for reading to the end.
Today I sit here in my underwear doing my weekly writing. My daughter eats her breakfast and I ponder life in accordance with my belief system. All that means is that I woke up where I live and now have to deal with all the things I face on a day to day basis. None of this is too riveting if you ask me, it does however afford me the opportunity to look at some pretty interesting things.
A few days ago I received my previous farewell column from when I wrote for the University newspaper. I was surprised to see a couple of things. The first thing I noticed was that I had significantly more hair at that time, which is always startling. The second was how I am basically in a different place. At that time I was in the midst of truly facing life for the first time. My ex-wife was threatening me whenever she could and I was trying to decide what I wanted out of life.
I guess that’s a good thing to talk about. You see I believe that every person goes through a period where they decide to grow up or not. In my case I call it deciding to become a man. The funny thing is that I never did this until just recently. I was busy hiding in whatever I could find to hide in. My life existed in a constant paradox of tremendous opportunity and avoidance. In other words I was faced with many chances in life but just couldn’t bring myself doing anything about them. I gained weight, I tried to use sex and I even wanted to drink sometimes. I spent money frivolously. I did anything I could to create a barrier between myself and any measure of success.
About 4 months ago I really looked at what was going on. I had all the skills I needed. The only thing I had to do was decide to use them. I am writing a book that has stayed in relatively the same state for 2 years. I’ve done nothing really to improve my quality of life, that is until 4 months ago. That’s when I decided that I needed to either shit or get off the pot. In my case it means that I had finally decided to become the person that I’ve always wanted to be. I decided to become a man.
Now I realize that a lot of people think that you acquire this certain station in life by simply growing up or by experiencing life as it may and go with the flow and see what happens. I am not one of these people. You see I think becoming a man is a decision. It’s a very important decision. It’s where a guy looks at his life and decides if he wants to end up a schlep or wants to do something that’s meaningful to him. This does not mean that a guy has to become a doctor, engineer, super-pimp or go to the moon. All I’m getting at is that a guy has to decide to do something. Even if you decide to do nothing, that’s still a decision. I mean look at the Buddha… that guy created a whole way of life out of just sitting in one spot until he was “awake”. He gave himself meaning in life by doing essentially nothing. My point is that I think it’s important to “declare” something and then go after it.
What this has meant to me is that I started to exercise, changed my diet, lost 40 lbs since March, gained a new perspective and became motivated to do something. It’s a strange place for me. My wife marvels that I have just made these discoveries because she made them like 10 years ago but I always tell her it’s better late than never. What the future can hold only the future knows. All I know is that now I look forward to it instead of facing it with jaded dread-filled eyes.
Well this ends my third renewed column. I hope you enjoyed it. If you have any comments feel free to leave them and I’ll take them into account in future columns. Thanks for reading to the end.
posted by morrisson66 at 7:46 PM
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